Anger Management Secret #10: Recognize that your calmness is powerful -- even more powerful than your rage.

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Recognize Your Progress

When you practice the Ten Secrets, there will come a time (probably sooner rather than later) when you'll be struck by the realization that you've just responded calmly in a situation that in the past you would have responded with out of control anger. On the heels of this realization will be the observation that your friends, coworkers, or family members will be looking at you with surprise. Where's the rage?

The Power of Calmness

As you perfect your transformation towards calmness, you'll see how much more powerful a calm response is. It makes problem-solving and conflict resolution possible where reactivity and rage just keep things stirred up to the point of perpetual crisis. Calm responses can draw people to you; rage responses push people away. Anger usually creates a response of defensiveness and anger in the other person. Calm responses can make cooperation possible.

If you have a position of responsibility, whether as a parent at home or a manager on your job, you will quickly see that being able to successfully manage yourself so that calm responses are possible leads to immense progress in managing others. If you cannot manage yourself, how can you manage others?

Create the Life You Most Want to Have

Gandhi brought the British Empire to its knees in India through his calm, non-violent approach. Had he attempted to lead a violent rebellion to try to win India's freedom, most likely he would not have succeeded. Calmness is incredibly powerful, and frees you to create the life you most want to have.

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