I\u2019ve noticed accumulating fears about my Novel Writing Workshop, that begins in about a month. When I signed up for the workshop I was excited about finally getting the guidance I need for my fiction writing.<\/p>\n
The creeping fears since then come from the scary questions the evil elf persists in whispering into my ear: \u201cWhat if you have no talent? What if you just can\u2019t write? I don\u2019t think you know how to tell a story. You just pull together a list of \u2018interesting\u2019 fragments and put it out there and leave it to the reader to piece together. You can\u2019t close the deal!!!\u201d<\/p>\n
The ugly munchkin is shouting by now. And he\u2019s traded the questions for accusations.\u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re stuck trying to write complex sentences. You\u2019re so damn ambivalent about everything. Why can\u2019t you just spin a tale and let \u2018er rip?\u201d<\/p>\n
Good question. I don\u2019t know why. Maybe I can, and just need to get on about doing it. Maybe my characters will guide me wherever they need to go, and all I have to do is take some notes. Edit later.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve started too late. You\u2019re over the hill,\u201d he whispered. I never noticed this before, but the malignant elf has a lisp, like that character in Runaway Bride.<\/p>\n
\u201cTeasing and humiliation won\u2019t work! You can\u2019t distract me from telling the DISMAL TRUTH about you!\u201d Louder now. Dith-tract and dith-mal dissolve some of the elf\u2019s authority, as I listen more closely.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo to hell,\u201d I reply and return to my typing.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, you think cursing makes your writing interesting?\u201d (cur-thing; intereth-ting)<\/p>\n
I am trying to distract myself from the elf\u2019s observations. Why do I listen to him at all?<\/p>\n
\u201cYou listen because you know I\u2019m right. I\u2019m the only one who\u2019ll tell you the truth about yourself,\u201d he opined.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah? Then why is that so-called truth you\u2019re telling me always blistering and negative? Why is the truth only about my faults and imperfections?\u201d I demand.<\/p>\n
\u201cI tell you the negative stuff because you\u2019d get a swell head if you just listened to the positive stuff about you all the time. You\u2019ll try to get above yourself. I\u2019m just trying to save you from disappointment. You used to think you were the smartest person in the world, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI did think that once, but I was 8 or 9 years old. I have a bit more perspective now.\u201d At the time I also wore red cowboy boots, a white Roy Rogers hat, and a hand-tooled holster with my toy Colt when my dog Brownie and I went to explore the fields and woods near my childhood home in east Texas.<\/p>\n
The elf jumps onto my desk and turns to face me, sneering. His twisted face and oily hair are the stuff of nightmares. His breath at close range is foul. \u201cYou know what I really think? You\u2019re just a smartass. You\u2019ve always been a smartass. Smart aleck. Too smart for your own good. You think you can beat the odds every time. You think you know better, and that bad outcomes won\u2019t happen to you. Well, now. You flunked out of college. You\u2019re divorced. You tried a business, and it failed. You tried another business and it failed, too. God knows what you\u2019ll do next!\u201d He paused to take a breath.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd your point is?\u201d I ask.<\/p>\n
\u201cYOU HAVE TO BE MORE CAREFUL!\u201d he shouted. \u201cYou\u2019re never careful, you\u2019re always launching yourself out into something new, like a kid doing hang gliding off a cliff. Don\u2019t you ever look down?\u201d<\/p>\n
Okay, that\u2019s a point. In fact, much of what this mucky elf is saying is true. I choose to believe it\u2019s not the whole truth about myself. I don\u2019t think the story is over yet. I have learned from my mistakes.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, but have you learned ENOUGH from those mistakes? That is the question,\u201d he shouted in triumph.<\/p>\n
\u201cPerhaps not. But here\u2019s the deal.\u201d I fumble in the drawer of my old rolltop and pull out a broken piece of chalk. With it I draw a heavy line on the floor, a wide circle around my writing desk. \u201cI\u2019m going to write. I\u2019m scared about it, I don\u2019t even know why anymore. But I\u2019m choosing not to listen to this river of crap. I\u2019ll take your observations into consideration, JUST NOT WHILE I\u2019M TRYING TO WRITE, OK?\u201d<\/p>\n
The elf scrambled down off his perch on my desk. He stomped across the floor behind my chair and went out into the hall. From where I sit I can just make him out in the shadows, standing with his shoulders hunched and his arms crossed over his sunken chest. I\u2019m sure he\u2019s scowling, but at least he\u2019s not yelling anymore.<\/p>\n
\u201cTurn around,\u201d I snarl. \u201cNo looking!\u201d I hear him shuffle his gnarly feet on the floor.<\/p>\n
Now where was I?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019ve noticed accumulating fears about my Novel Writing Workshop, that begins in about a month. When I signed up for the workshop I was excited about finally getting the guidance I need for my fiction writing. The creeping fears since then come from the scary questions the evil elf persists in whispering into my ear: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4,5,7],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-13","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-building-self-esteem","7":"category-high-self-esteem","8":"category-low-self-esteem","9":"category-self-confidence"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/guidetoselfhelpbooks.com\/self-esteem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/guidetoselfhelpbooks.com\/self-esteem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/guidetoselfhelpbooks.com\/self-esteem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/guidetoselfhelpbooks.com\/self-esteem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/guidetoselfhelpbooks.com\/self-esteem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/guidetoselfhelpbooks.com\/self-esteem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14,"href":"http:\/\/guidetoselfhelpbooks.com\/self-esteem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13\/revisions\/14"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/guidetoselfhelpbooks.com\/self-esteem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/guidetoselfhelpbooks.com\/self-esteem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/guidetoselfhelpbooks.com\/self-esteem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}